Well Water...Part Eight

Chapter 4

Shonda was sitting on the couch drinking her morning cup of coffee. She was enjoying a rare moment when all three of her children were quietly watching television instead of fighting with each other. She pondered what arts and crafts she was going to have for the day care kids and was already running through a mental inventory of fridge and pantry items that she could use for that day’s lunch and snacks. As she sat in her contemplative state, she was interrupted by Nicholas.

“I hungy mama” he said in a very serious voice as he rubbed his belly in a circular motion.

“Okay Nick Nack,” she laughed at his universal hand signal for hunger. “Do you want a waffle?”

“Yes,” he replied, with an emphasis on the “s”, and went back to sit down in front of the TV.
Nicholas had just recently begun speaking in full sentences and was a source of constant laughter for Shonda throughout the day. His mispronunciation of words, and the words and syllables he chose to emphasize, meant there was never a dull conversation to be had with him. In fact, all three of her children were at various levels of communication and that meant there were some extremely funny one-liners being uttered on a consistent basis. Savannah, who was very smart for a seven year old, was always trying to say profound and intelligent things, to make her sound more like an adult. But she usually ended up tongue tied or saying things that contradicted what she was trying to say. And Noah was always pronouncing words in his own way, which on several occasions had caused his parents to become extremely embarrassed.

Once during a family holiday in which there were several family members visiting, they had decided to get everyone McDonald’s for lunch. When Noah’s happy meal arrived, he snatched his bag and went directly into the living room. The meal came with a toy that looked quite complicated for a five year old, so Chris had read the directions and they figured out how to assemble it together. Regrettably, Chris had made the comment to Noah that it was very important to read the directions first. Noah processed this wisdom from his father and directed his attention towards his toy.

He left Noah with his toy and his nuggets and went back to his own lunch. A little while later, as they were all enjoying their food, Noah came frantically running into the kitchen with tears in his eyes.

Everyone had concerned looks on their faces as no one could figure out why he was so upset.

“What’s the matter little man?” Chris asked, not sure what to make of the situation.

“Daddy, I lost my directions!” he cried and the entire room burst into laughter as Chris just shook his head and Shonda buried her head in her hands.

While Noah had every intention of actually saying the word “directions”, he somehow could only pronounce it without the “d”. So what came out was a very high pitched “Daddy, I lost my erections!”

Noah, who like both of their children, absolutely hated to be mocked in any way, started to get angry and stormed out of the kitchen. The adults in the room, who had burst out with an initial fit of laughter, were now trying to stifle that, without much success. Shonda, who was mortified by this could do nothing but concentrate on eating her chicken sandwich, and Chris (who was privately laughing to himself about the situation) was on his way after Noah to calm him down and try to teach him the correct way to pronounce the word.